Friday, July 23, 2010
Boy on the Silver Table
I am in this room that seems very sterile. I see this little boy lying on his side on a silver table. And I think it's Kyron Horman. He is naked. He is lying on his left side and his knees are slightly bent up, not quite a fetal position, but natural, like he's just sleeping. His right arm is naturally bent a little and lying out beside him and his other arm is tucked under his body.
And it seems that this is a coroner's table or a place where bodies are processed for evidence, because beside his little body, all laid out around him are articles of clothing, and other items that were found with him. These are all organized and laid out in a circle around his body.
As I look at his little body, I really want him to be dressed. He just looks so vulnerable lying there naked. And in a moment, some unknown force is dressing him, one article of clothing at a time. And I realize that it was the force of me that did this, and I thought of the girl in the forest again and thought this must be some kind of ability I brought back with me from that experience.
When I began waking from this dream, I was caused to remember additional things.
I was caused to remember the thing that happened last night around 9pm here on the property. The big Mommy Doe brought her twins back. This is the first time I've seen them since before my kids got here in June. So it's been awhile. Even though it was getting pretty dark outside, I saw them clearly.
But there's something really curious about the twins. In June, one was bigger than the other, but not so much so. They looked fairly even in size, although one was bigger. But last night, OMG, I couldn't believe the difference. The bigger one is so big now that it really looks like a small, adult deer. But the other twin is still about the size he/she was in June. I mean, really tiny.
After my dream, something came to me about appearances and about perceptions, but I can't really remember the exact message. The other thing was something about, even though twins might start out looking and seeming identical, they can grow to become something that doesn't even remotely resemble one to the other. Something like that.
Nonetheless, I was happy to see them together. BTW, the little one is just that, just little, but certainly quite active, romping and playing and kicking up it's heals. So it seems perfectly healthy and VERY playful.
But the bigger twin....OMG, you cannot believe how big this fawn is. Still has it's spots and everything, but HUGE. Dave, my husband, actually saw it by itself in the yard the other night. He told me then that he THOUGHT it was a fawn, but thought better of it because it was so huge.
I still think this deer and twin thing that keeps coming up has something to do with Kyron.
Indian Girl in the Forest
I am out in the forest, in a small, cleared area. There's a girl with me. I know her. She looks somewhere between 15 and 18 years old. She has black hair, parted in the middle and tied back at her neck. We are under some sort of make-shift shelter, like four wooden posts and a canvas or something over the top. There's a small table and she is sitting on a small, low-to-the-ground stool. She looks like a young American Indian to me.
We are talking and she begins to tell me something. And I think that what she's going to say is going to spoil some surprise for me. I don't know what it is, but it's something like if someone tells you that you're going to have a surprise birthday party and they spoil the surprise. This wasn't it, but something along these lines.
As she begins to speak, I hold up my right hand and say, "No, no, no, don't tell me. Don's tell me." But she doesn't stop talking, she continues. When I hear what it is she is telling me, I stop protesting and listen. And what she has told me is the information, important information in a dream that I've forgotten. And suddenly, the dream and the information in that dream comes flooding back to me. And she recounts my dream back to me in such detail, it becomes so profound, that I can no longer contain myself.
I look at her, look into her eyes, and I feel the most incredible connection to her. To everything. And I begin to sob so profoundly that I cannot catch my breath. The emotion that I feel, and the connection that I feel......well words are insufficient to describe.
Then something strange happens and I will do my best to explain what happens next. As I am coming out of this dream and I am realizing that I am lying in bed, I feel this sensation in my head. I can actually FEEL this sensation in my head that I have been held in this space to experience this with this girl, that I have been held in this space by some unknown force or power to that I could experience this. And I can actually FEEL the force or power release me so that I can return to this consciousness, the consciousness of lying in bed. This was so powerful.
The only words that I can remember from the dream that she was recounting for me are: Live Her. This was the only thing I was able to bring back.
When I begin to full waken, I am reminded of two things.
I am reminded of that dream I had in Playa del Carmen Mexico one time. It was an audio. It was, "Find the area of your Tribe." I thought about this and I think I have found the area of my Tribe. It's here. In Ohio. This is the area of my Tribe. And I am feeling more and more each day that my work in Mexico is coming to an end.
We are talking and she begins to tell me something. And I think that what she's going to say is going to spoil some surprise for me. I don't know what it is, but it's something like if someone tells you that you're going to have a surprise birthday party and they spoil the surprise. This wasn't it, but something along these lines.
As she begins to speak, I hold up my right hand and say, "No, no, no, don't tell me. Don's tell me." But she doesn't stop talking, she continues. When I hear what it is she is telling me, I stop protesting and listen. And what she has told me is the information, important information in a dream that I've forgotten. And suddenly, the dream and the information in that dream comes flooding back to me. And she recounts my dream back to me in such detail, it becomes so profound, that I can no longer contain myself.
I look at her, look into her eyes, and I feel the most incredible connection to her. To everything. And I begin to sob so profoundly that I cannot catch my breath. The emotion that I feel, and the connection that I feel......well words are insufficient to describe.
Then something strange happens and I will do my best to explain what happens next. As I am coming out of this dream and I am realizing that I am lying in bed, I feel this sensation in my head. I can actually FEEL this sensation in my head that I have been held in this space to experience this with this girl, that I have been held in this space by some unknown force or power to that I could experience this. And I can actually FEEL the force or power release me so that I can return to this consciousness, the consciousness of lying in bed. This was so powerful.
The only words that I can remember from the dream that she was recounting for me are: Live Her. This was the only thing I was able to bring back.
When I begin to full waken, I am reminded of two things.
I am reminded of that dream I had in Playa del Carmen Mexico one time. It was an audio. It was, "Find the area of your Tribe." I thought about this and I think I have found the area of my Tribe. It's here. In Ohio. This is the area of my Tribe. And I am feeling more and more each day that my work in Mexico is coming to an end.
On the Run with a Family that's not Mine
23 July 2010
I am traveling with this family. There seems to be a mom, dad and some other children. It seems we might be "on the run" or traveling across country to go to another place where we are not known to people. I am a boy. The family is not my own. It seems as though I know some of them. It's not a terrible situation, but I don't understand why I am with this family and just want to go home. It seems like I might have been told that I was going on vacation with them.
For the night, we have checked into this motel along the road we're on. The motel is right next to the road. It seems like it's a really small town, like a one gas station kind of town. There's this really long, wooden foot locker that we keep all our clothes in. It's very heavy and cumbersome to get in and out of the vehicle we're in. I don't recall the vehicle. The footlocker has been placed at the end of one of the beds in the room. It's open and gobs of clothes are in it and hanging off the sides of the open lid. There's also a brass colored latch with a turn thing so it can be secured. The room is a mess with everyone's clothes lying around. And the motel seems old and dated to me, even though I'm a little boy.
Across the street is some sort of attraction and the parents decide we are going to go over there. We all walk across the road and there's a building, looks like a house and it seems to be a dark red color. We walk in the door and the room is full of these black goats. At first I think they are dogs, but they're goats. As soon as we walk in, all the goats run to us, it feels almost like an assault. And the goats grab hold of one of our fingers and they start sucking on our fingers. And they suck so strong that you cannot get free from them. At first, I think this is kind of fun, different and kind of cool. But when I can't get free it ceases to be fun. And even when I do get free, there's another goat assaulting me for my finger. I don't like it. The goats are doing to same thing to everyone. At some point this begins to feel sexual to me, and I don't like it at all. They are still just sucking on my fingers but there's something about it that feels sexual.
When I revisit this dream after I wake up, I think of Kyron Horman. I hope he's alive and well and just on the run with a family who will care for him.
I am traveling with this family. There seems to be a mom, dad and some other children. It seems we might be "on the run" or traveling across country to go to another place where we are not known to people. I am a boy. The family is not my own. It seems as though I know some of them. It's not a terrible situation, but I don't understand why I am with this family and just want to go home. It seems like I might have been told that I was going on vacation with them.
For the night, we have checked into this motel along the road we're on. The motel is right next to the road. It seems like it's a really small town, like a one gas station kind of town. There's this really long, wooden foot locker that we keep all our clothes in. It's very heavy and cumbersome to get in and out of the vehicle we're in. I don't recall the vehicle. The footlocker has been placed at the end of one of the beds in the room. It's open and gobs of clothes are in it and hanging off the sides of the open lid. There's also a brass colored latch with a turn thing so it can be secured. The room is a mess with everyone's clothes lying around. And the motel seems old and dated to me, even though I'm a little boy.
Across the street is some sort of attraction and the parents decide we are going to go over there. We all walk across the road and there's a building, looks like a house and it seems to be a dark red color. We walk in the door and the room is full of these black goats. At first I think they are dogs, but they're goats. As soon as we walk in, all the goats run to us, it feels almost like an assault. And the goats grab hold of one of our fingers and they start sucking on our fingers. And they suck so strong that you cannot get free from them. At first, I think this is kind of fun, different and kind of cool. But when I can't get free it ceases to be fun. And even when I do get free, there's another goat assaulting me for my finger. I don't like it. The goats are doing to same thing to everyone. At some point this begins to feel sexual to me, and I don't like it at all. They are still just sucking on my fingers but there's something about it that feels sexual.
When I revisit this dream after I wake up, I think of Kyron Horman. I hope he's alive and well and just on the run with a family who will care for him.
Monday, April 26, 2010
Fat Roll, Stretchmarks and Freedom - 26 April 2010
I am sitting comfortably in a chair. I have unbottoned and unzipped my shorts to be more comfortable. I seem to be sitting by a swimming pool at a hotel or resort of some kind. My T-shirt is slightly above my belly, exposing this fat roll that I have, also exposing the stretchmarks on my belly. Suddenly this man dressed in all black approaches me and stands to my left looking down at me and my exposed belly. He grimaces as he sees my fat roll and my stretchmarks. He rolls his eyes like I disgust him. I say to him, "Yes, you are looking upon a woman, an all-woman woman, who has also had a child. What? You've never seen an all-woman woman before? He rolls his eyes again and walks away. I think to myself, "Thank goodness my husband doesn't regard me in this manner."
Then I see the man go to a group of three other younger men. They are also all dressed in black. He says something to them and they all look in my direction, and they all grimace as they look at me.
Suddenly I am in our newly remodeled house, and I am standing in our new kitchen making a pot of coffee. Suddenly I just want to get naked, shed all my clothes and just run around naked. I do and this feels so good, so freeing, so liberating and it makes me feel joyful and free. End of dream.
Then I see the man go to a group of three other younger men. They are also all dressed in black. He says something to them and they all look in my direction, and they all grimace as they look at me.
Suddenly I am in our newly remodeled house, and I am standing in our new kitchen making a pot of coffee. Suddenly I just want to get naked, shed all my clothes and just run around naked. I do and this feels so good, so freeing, so liberating and it makes me feel joyful and free. End of dream.
Where's Stella? 25 April 2010
I am in a car and my manager, Eduardo, is driving. Two women are in the front seat, but turned around in their seats so that they are facing me. They are so happy. They are a couple and are excited because they are getting married. They are laughing and sharing their happiness with me.
Suddenly I realize that my dog, Stella, is not with us. I ask Eduardo where she is. He tells me he will take me where he left her. I am not very happy hearing this. Eduardo pulls up to this huge brick building and he pulls in so closely that I barely have room to squeeze in between the car and the back door to this building. There are actually two, big, black metal doors and they are locked. I don't know what this building is really, but I have a key on my key chain that unlocks this door. I use my key and go inside. I begin calling my dog. "Stella, Stella!" About 6 or 8 other dogs show up and sniff me, wagging their tails, but none are my dog, Stella.
I ask Eduardo, "Where did you leave her?" He tells me that he left her in the basement. So I go downstairs into the basement and begin calling. I see these small groups of teenagers in these classrooms and in the hallways. I am thinking that this building is a school of some description. All the kids are dressed in black and seem quite serious. Then I think better of the school idea and think perhaps that this building is about something else altogether, but I don't know what. And I am not really liking how this building feels, and wonder why I have a key that unlocks its doors. I continue to call Stella but she never comes and the dream fades.
Suddenly I realize that my dog, Stella, is not with us. I ask Eduardo where she is. He tells me he will take me where he left her. I am not very happy hearing this. Eduardo pulls up to this huge brick building and he pulls in so closely that I barely have room to squeeze in between the car and the back door to this building. There are actually two, big, black metal doors and they are locked. I don't know what this building is really, but I have a key on my key chain that unlocks this door. I use my key and go inside. I begin calling my dog. "Stella, Stella!" About 6 or 8 other dogs show up and sniff me, wagging their tails, but none are my dog, Stella.
I ask Eduardo, "Where did you leave her?" He tells me that he left her in the basement. So I go downstairs into the basement and begin calling. I see these small groups of teenagers in these classrooms and in the hallways. I am thinking that this building is a school of some description. All the kids are dressed in black and seem quite serious. Then I think better of the school idea and think perhaps that this building is about something else altogether, but I don't know what. And I am not really liking how this building feels, and wonder why I have a key that unlocks its doors. I continue to call Stella but she never comes and the dream fades.
Saturday, April 24, 2010
There is Nothing Left For You Here Anymore - 24 April 2010
I am in this very primitive building. It has dirt floors and is very, very rustic. There is something being filmed in this location, a television series. I am on the production crew and part of the craft service serving the food to the actors. I am particularly in charge of the principles in the TV series, that is, the "Stars of the Show." We are on break and the two actors on the set decide to simply eat on the set instead of going back to their trailers. So, I begin setting up a nice place for them to eat. The last scene they shot was on an office set. As I brought in the napkins and the eating utensils, I happened to glance over at the main actor and she already had everything. This confused me. I was in charge, yet someone had already given this actor her eating utensils. She was trying to hide these from me, so I wouldn't find out who had preceded me.
When I walked back off-set, it seemed like the director, producer and the film crew were playing back and commenting on what they had shot that morning. A crowd had gathered around the film crew (these seemed to be people off the street), and everyone seemed to be an expert. They were all giving their opinions, saying, "They should do this, they could've done that, and on and on." I was busy for the most part, and just worked around this crowd of about 10 people. One of them was the UPS man or a postman. The rest were simply people off the street.
The next thing I knew I was on the ground. I was trying to bury some coffee cups, exactly like the ones we use in our restaurant in Mexico. Even though I was the one doing this, I didn't know why on earth I was on the ground trying to bury coffee cups, and with my bare hands. At one point I even tried to break up the hardened ground with my own teeth. Something didn't seem right and I didn't feel like myself. Suddenly I start feeling really weird and I don't think I can even hold myself up any longer. I keep hearing this woman's voice in my left ear. She is saying over and over again, "There's nothing left for you here anymore. There's nothing left for you here anymore."
Suddenly I have fallen over onto my side. My eyes and mouth are wide open. I leave my body and look at myself. I have this grotesque look on my face. I realize that I am dying and I can still hear this woman beside me continuing to tell me that there's nothing left for me here anymore. Suddenly, I see Dave, my husband, come to my side. And he begins to cry, then sob and I can see how sad he feels that I am dying. I continue to hear this woman's voice. Then, somehow, I get enough strength to sit up. I want to shut this woman up who's talking to me. I see a box of tissues. I begin stuffing this woman's mouth with tissues. Actually, after awhile, there didn't seem to be a body connected to the voice, just this big set of what looked like, dentures, lying on the ground beside my partially buried coffee cups. I am still filling the woman's dentures with big wads of tissues when I wake up.
When I walked back off-set, it seemed like the director, producer and the film crew were playing back and commenting on what they had shot that morning. A crowd had gathered around the film crew (these seemed to be people off the street), and everyone seemed to be an expert. They were all giving their opinions, saying, "They should do this, they could've done that, and on and on." I was busy for the most part, and just worked around this crowd of about 10 people. One of them was the UPS man or a postman. The rest were simply people off the street.
The next thing I knew I was on the ground. I was trying to bury some coffee cups, exactly like the ones we use in our restaurant in Mexico. Even though I was the one doing this, I didn't know why on earth I was on the ground trying to bury coffee cups, and with my bare hands. At one point I even tried to break up the hardened ground with my own teeth. Something didn't seem right and I didn't feel like myself. Suddenly I start feeling really weird and I don't think I can even hold myself up any longer. I keep hearing this woman's voice in my left ear. She is saying over and over again, "There's nothing left for you here anymore. There's nothing left for you here anymore."
Suddenly I have fallen over onto my side. My eyes and mouth are wide open. I leave my body and look at myself. I have this grotesque look on my face. I realize that I am dying and I can still hear this woman beside me continuing to tell me that there's nothing left for me here anymore. Suddenly, I see Dave, my husband, come to my side. And he begins to cry, then sob and I can see how sad he feels that I am dying. I continue to hear this woman's voice. Then, somehow, I get enough strength to sit up. I want to shut this woman up who's talking to me. I see a box of tissues. I begin stuffing this woman's mouth with tissues. Actually, after awhile, there didn't seem to be a body connected to the voice, just this big set of what looked like, dentures, lying on the ground beside my partially buried coffee cups. I am still filling the woman's dentures with big wads of tissues when I wake up.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Deep Water - 20 April 2010
I am in deep, deep, beautiful, aquamarine water. I am swimming up toward the surface of the water. My eyes are open. I am calm and comfortable in the water. As I near the surface of the water, I suddenly have this knowing that in the time it's taken me to make this journey to the surface of the water (less than a minute, it seemed like), I realize that I have lived my entire 58 years in this short space of time. It's as if all that I have ever lived took less than a minute of time.
I feel quite alive as I am leisurely swimming up toward the surface, but once I have this realization, that in this short space of time, I have lived and experienced my 58 years, I wonder to myself if I am actually dead. I am literally inches from the surface and I suddenly have the additional awareness that I am lying in my bed dreaming all this. My focus changes to my body lying in my bed dreaming, and I actually wonder if I have died sometime during this experience, and I am not at all sure that I am alive. Further, I wonder that even if I wake up from this experience with full consciousness, I will have to wonder if I haven't already died.
I feel quite alive as I am leisurely swimming up toward the surface, but once I have this realization, that in this short space of time, I have lived and experienced my 58 years, I wonder to myself if I am actually dead. I am literally inches from the surface and I suddenly have the additional awareness that I am lying in my bed dreaming all this. My focus changes to my body lying in my bed dreaming, and I actually wonder if I have died sometime during this experience, and I am not at all sure that I am alive. Further, I wonder that even if I wake up from this experience with full consciousness, I will have to wonder if I haven't already died.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
29 March 2010 - Fish Dream
I am sitting by this lake or could have been river, don't know. It was a body of water. There were big roundish boulders in the lake. And I was watching these fish. In my dream, I called them Carp but they didn't look like Carp at all. They were big like Carp, but they had the most beautiful top, bottom and side fins, like feathers or fans. Beautiful to watch. There were a whole bunch of them.
Then I was riding a bicycle back from town here in Xcalak, on the beach road. But something rather catastrophic had happened to the area if not the entire world. The entire road was under water. The beach road was completely flooded. As I was returning to the hotel on this bike, this big alligator/crocodile was coming in the opposite direction, passing me on my left. I could only see his snout and nostrils as he swam past me. And I was so thankful I was on the bike and not walking through the water.
Then I was riding a bicycle back from town here in Xcalak, on the beach road. But something rather catastrophic had happened to the area if not the entire world. The entire road was under water. The beach road was completely flooded. As I was returning to the hotel on this bike, this big alligator/crocodile was coming in the opposite direction, passing me on my left. I could only see his snout and nostrils as he swam past me. And I was so thankful I was on the bike and not walking through the water.
28 March - Meditation on Susan Powell
I know that LE needs Susan’s body, so this was the main focus or intention for this meditation. This information, while not what I was really looking for came when I was in deep. But I don’t know that it will be very useful.
1. I see a big, burly man. His teeth are yellowed and bad. Some are either missing or his teeth are spaced wide apart. He has his head thrown back and he is putting food in his mouth. He seems to be gloating about something. He’s big, big fingers. Really grubby, unshaven. I think I caught sight of something around his head, like a bandana. He reminded me of a biker more than anything.
2. I see this young, dark-haired woman. Her hair is straight. 30’s maybe. She is holding a child and her face rests against the child’s head. Child has dark hair. She is comforting the child. I think it’s a little boy. I didn’t sense that the woman is the boy’ mother.
3. After I come out slightly from this last image, I say, Susan where are you. Where are you? Where’s your body? The next thing I get is a woman’s voice. She hums three notes, there’s a slight pause in between the first hum and the second hum, then the third him comes quickly. So it would be:Hm……..Hm..Hm Montana. When I came out to remember this, I was a little reoccupied. I thought, this isn’t my clue. This is M's (name withheld) clue and it’s a song, too. But I just let those thoughts go and dropped back in.
4. I get Pony Express Highway and I see some sort of rest stop or pullover along side the road. It looks fairly remote. There's some sort of building or something there. And a sign or a post with a sign on it. I can't quite make out what I'm seeing.
5. Then it sounds like a full band, and a song. I can hear this male voice singing this line. It’s one of a of couple things. “I won’t hate you anymore, or You won’t hate me anymore,” or something like that. But it was a song with full accompaniment behind it.
6. This little child steps out and faces me, but the child is completely black, like in silhouette. I can’t see any details or features whatsoever but she was back lit. There was a lot of light behind her. It reminded me of the lights of a semi-truck for some reason although I never saw a truck. The child is a little girl. Her hair flips up a little on the sides and she is wearing dress. I can see these outlines clearly. It seems like she is standing in the middle of a road or highway. It was a little surreal, like she might be deceased already.
I know where was a lot more. And at one point it seemed like I was retrieving other information from a dream or another vision, but it never materialized. At one point I came out and it felt like I had been in for a long time. And I couldn’t pull anything back with me. This was all about an hour which surprised me. Just a moment ago, while writing this, I remembered something else. Sorry, it's gone. What's most obvious to me is that what I got are the same or similar to what others have gotten. I don't know if this is good news or bad news.
Okay I just remembered what seemed to be the last thing I got.
I saw Maria. She is my night chef. It went through my head that she was leaving work at 8pm, early. Then I remembered that it wasn't Maria, it was Eduardo or someone else that wanted to do this. Then I remembered that it was Eduardo who left early last night. But there was still confusion in my mind about who was who and what time of day it was and if this was going to happen or if it had already happened. I really wrestled with this in my own mind. I seemed utterly confused and out of kilter. When I came out of this, I realized that this was part of my vision and not a real-life circumstance. **Note: This just made me feel so confused about time, what time of day it was, what really happened to whom, and who said what. Reminds me of someone who is trying so hard to get a handle on what's really happening. This continues to be how Susan presents herself to me.
1. I see a big, burly man. His teeth are yellowed and bad. Some are either missing or his teeth are spaced wide apart. He has his head thrown back and he is putting food in his mouth. He seems to be gloating about something. He’s big, big fingers. Really grubby, unshaven. I think I caught sight of something around his head, like a bandana. He reminded me of a biker more than anything.
2. I see this young, dark-haired woman. Her hair is straight. 30’s maybe. She is holding a child and her face rests against the child’s head. Child has dark hair. She is comforting the child. I think it’s a little boy. I didn’t sense that the woman is the boy’ mother.
3. After I come out slightly from this last image, I say, Susan where are you. Where are you? Where’s your body? The next thing I get is a woman’s voice. She hums three notes, there’s a slight pause in between the first hum and the second hum, then the third him comes quickly. So it would be:Hm……..Hm..Hm Montana. When I came out to remember this, I was a little reoccupied. I thought, this isn’t my clue. This is M's (name withheld) clue and it’s a song, too. But I just let those thoughts go and dropped back in.
4. I get Pony Express Highway and I see some sort of rest stop or pullover along side the road. It looks fairly remote. There's some sort of building or something there. And a sign or a post with a sign on it. I can't quite make out what I'm seeing.
5. Then it sounds like a full band, and a song. I can hear this male voice singing this line. It’s one of a of couple things. “I won’t hate you anymore, or You won’t hate me anymore,” or something like that. But it was a song with full accompaniment behind it.
6. This little child steps out and faces me, but the child is completely black, like in silhouette. I can’t see any details or features whatsoever but she was back lit. There was a lot of light behind her. It reminded me of the lights of a semi-truck for some reason although I never saw a truck. The child is a little girl. Her hair flips up a little on the sides and she is wearing dress. I can see these outlines clearly. It seems like she is standing in the middle of a road or highway. It was a little surreal, like she might be deceased already.
I know where was a lot more. And at one point it seemed like I was retrieving other information from a dream or another vision, but it never materialized. At one point I came out and it felt like I had been in for a long time. And I couldn’t pull anything back with me. This was all about an hour which surprised me. Just a moment ago, while writing this, I remembered something else. Sorry, it's gone. What's most obvious to me is that what I got are the same or similar to what others have gotten. I don't know if this is good news or bad news.
Okay I just remembered what seemed to be the last thing I got.
I saw Maria. She is my night chef. It went through my head that she was leaving work at 8pm, early. Then I remembered that it wasn't Maria, it was Eduardo or someone else that wanted to do this. Then I remembered that it was Eduardo who left early last night. But there was still confusion in my mind about who was who and what time of day it was and if this was going to happen or if it had already happened. I really wrestled with this in my own mind. I seemed utterly confused and out of kilter. When I came out of this, I realized that this was part of my vision and not a real-life circumstance. **Note: This just made me feel so confused about time, what time of day it was, what really happened to whom, and who said what. Reminds me of someone who is trying so hard to get a handle on what's really happening. This continues to be how Susan presents herself to me.
Saturday, March 27, 2010
27 March 2010 - Man on a Map Bicycling
27 March 2010 - Man on a Map, Bicycling
This was one of those dreams that just kept playing out all night long. I do not know what it relates to.
I see this man on a bicycle. And I see that this man is bicycling on top of a map. The map has, what looks to be, an outlined trail that this man is following on his bicycle. He rides the trail all night long in my dream.
I also get the letters SO and then another letter, "a" but like the kind of small "a" you learned to write in the first grade.
**Note: I don't have the font available here to use as an example.
But in my dream, there's something not quite right with the "a." Perhaps it has a tail and it's really a "g" or a "q." Or perhaps it's a "d."
All night long I try to make the "a" right. I never do.
This was one of those dreams that just kept playing out all night long. I do not know what it relates to.
I see this man on a bicycle. And I see that this man is bicycling on top of a map. The map has, what looks to be, an outlined trail that this man is following on his bicycle. He rides the trail all night long in my dream.
I also get the letters SO and then another letter, "a" but like the kind of small "a" you learned to write in the first grade.
**Note: I don't have the font available here to use as an example.
But in my dream, there's something not quite right with the "a." Perhaps it has a tail and it's really a "g" or a "q." Or perhaps it's a "d."
All night long I try to make the "a" right. I never do.
25 March 2010 - 8-Naker Vision
25 March 2010 - Vision
I saw a type-written paragraph and I thought it was something that had been written on a computer. I wasn't sure if I had written it or someone else had written it. I only read the first word. My dogs started barking and I got jolted out of that place. But the word was simply this: 8-naker. That's all I could read.
A good friend and woman I work with on missing persons related cases, noticed that the word Naker, unscrambled, spells Kearn. Another woman working on the Susan Powell case has gotten a strong clue of a Public Storage Unit called Kearns Public Storage. So I am wondering now if this 8-naker that I saw has something to do with the Public Storage Unit behind the Kearns Shopping Center in Kearns, Utah.
I saw a type-written paragraph and I thought it was something that had been written on a computer. I wasn't sure if I had written it or someone else had written it. I only read the first word. My dogs started barking and I got jolted out of that place. But the word was simply this: 8-naker. That's all I could read.
A good friend and woman I work with on missing persons related cases, noticed that the word Naker, unscrambled, spells Kearn. Another woman working on the Susan Powell case has gotten a strong clue of a Public Storage Unit called Kearns Public Storage. So I am wondering now if this 8-naker that I saw has something to do with the Public Storage Unit behind the Kearns Shopping Center in Kearns, Utah.
26 March 2010 - Kim's Birthmark Dream
26 March 2010 - Kim' Birthmark Dream
I was talking to Susan before I went to sleep and praying too. Just asking for any information that is to everyone's highest good. I had this short scene play out before me. There was a tall, thin, dark-skinned man. I had the idea that he was going to rape Susan because of what he did and said. She was there, She was alive but not actively moving. She may have been bound in some way. Not sure of this part. But he said to her, "Take a look at this." And he started pulling the front part of his jeans down. I think this is why I thought he was going to rape her. But when he pulled the front of his jeans down, he had this really large birthmark looking thing on his lower abdomen, between his belly button and his private parts. But it looked bloody to me, like it was an open wound but had scabbed over. It was strange looking. I really couldn't tell if it was a big scab or a birthmark. I did make note that I thought he was young because his skin was firm and young looking. That's the sense I got. After I saw that he was just showing her this, I realized that my thought about raping her diminished.
**Note: This might have something to do with the missing young man named Steven Thell Koecher. After I posted this dream on another missing person forum, a friend of mine sent me the information she had on Steven and thought this dream may have had to do with him. Here's Steven's information.
Steven Thell Koecher
MISSING SINCE: 12/12/2009
DOB: 11-1-1979
AGE: 30
HEIGHT: 5'10"
WEIGHT: 180
HAIR: Blonde
EYES: Blue
RACE: White
I was talking to Susan before I went to sleep and praying too. Just asking for any information that is to everyone's highest good. I had this short scene play out before me. There was a tall, thin, dark-skinned man. I had the idea that he was going to rape Susan because of what he did and said. She was there, She was alive but not actively moving. She may have been bound in some way. Not sure of this part. But he said to her, "Take a look at this." And he started pulling the front part of his jeans down. I think this is why I thought he was going to rape her. But when he pulled the front of his jeans down, he had this really large birthmark looking thing on his lower abdomen, between his belly button and his private parts. But it looked bloody to me, like it was an open wound but had scabbed over. It was strange looking. I really couldn't tell if it was a big scab or a birthmark. I did make note that I thought he was young because his skin was firm and young looking. That's the sense I got. After I saw that he was just showing her this, I realized that my thought about raping her diminished.
**Note: This might have something to do with the missing young man named Steven Thell Koecher. After I posted this dream on another missing person forum, a friend of mine sent me the information she had on Steven and thought this dream may have had to do with him. Here's Steven's information.
Steven Thell Koecher
MISSING SINCE: 12/12/2009
DOB: 11-1-1979
AGE: 30
HEIGHT: 5'10"
WEIGHT: 180
HAIR: Blonde
EYES: Blue
RACE: White
Monday, March 22, 2010
22 March 2010 - Kim's Epcot Dream
22 March 2010 Epcot Dream
I am not sure what this dream/vision/experience is about, if it's about me or about Susan Powell. Susan Powell is the young mother of two that was last seen on 7 December 2009 from West Valley City, Utah. I have had a number of dreams this month that seem to be about this beautiful missing young mother.
Dream or whatever it was:
I am laying in this really large area in what seems to be this huge movie theatre. Oh God it feels so good to lay here like this. and this blanket feels so good. I never want to move from here. I am so incredibly tired and my head is throbbing. I still feel sick. I am at the Epcot. I am at Epcot. Oh it feels so good here I never want to get up. Epcot Epcot. I've never been to Epcot. What is Epcot? I wonder what everyone thinks of me laying all covered up down in the front, here on the floor. I am so warm finally. It feels so good.
My head is laying on top of my leather purse....that nice soft light tan leather purse.
I begin going other places in my mind. Remembering. The movie is playing, it's so loud. Am I at Epcot or is this IMAX? I don't know. There's a huge movie screen right in front of me. I drift in and out of my memories and the movie plays on and on and on. I have so many memories. I can see them all now. Even the audience likes it. I hear them. I wonder if they see me lying down here and what they think. Maybe it's just a bunch of college kids and they wouldn't care anyway. The movie plays on and on. Whats that song that's playing, the one the girl on American Idol sang when they voted her off? My story? It's my story? The tune just plays over and over again. I wish I knew the words. I like this song. Over and over and over again. I begin to hum with the music.
I should go. I should go. Oh I see him he's screaming (her oldest, little dark-haired boy) he keeps screaming. I need to go. Oh no, I need to go. My children.
I get up and run out the side doors of the theatre. Oh my God. I am outside now. It looks like an entire city out here. And I am so high up. Epcot is so big. So many theatres. So big. Everything turns white suddenly. It's like a white out on a mountaintop when you're snow skiing. Then everything comes into focus again. I don't know what that was. And I am in a different place in Epcot now. I don't know how that happened. I need to go back where I was, get under the blanket, and sleep. That was so nice. I am still so tired. But where's the theatre I was in? I forgot my purse. Why did I leave everything behind. I need to go back and get my things. I want to see my kids.
At this point in all this, I go back inside the side door of a theatre as people are coming out. The movie has ended.
I am so glad I got back in time, to the right place. My stuff is probably still lying on the floor in the front. I am here in time, I think. My stuff is probably still here. I am going up the stairs against the flow of those who are exiting. i am sure I will see my stuff lying on the floor where I left them. Why didn't I just take everything with me? That's unlike me. I should have taken everything with me the first time. What was I thinking?
When I get inside, the floor is empty as if I was never there. No, it's the wrong theatre. I just have to find the right theatre. I just have to find where I was and everything will be okay.
I leave this theatre, only I head for one of the tiers that leads up to what I think is the hallway, the inside hallway where all the doors are to all the movie theatres. For some reason I shield my eyes because there's a light that's blinding me, but then the theatre is darkened, I notice, and I don't really know why I am shielding my eyes. I try to find my way up the stairs to the other door, the lobby door. They are all Asian in this theatre, and it's packed. Must be a good movie. I get out the door. Omg. Epcot is so big. I don't know where i am. Where am I? Where is everyone? I just want to go back to sleep on the floor. That felt so good, so warm. I am so tired. So tired. My head hurts so much. I just want to sleep. God help me, I feel so sick.
I wonder if I am really still on the floor and I never left? Why would I think such a thing? I wonder if I'm still here somewhere. I think I am. I just have to find myself again. I just have to keep looking for myself.
**Note: At some point I was the observer when she/I was leaving the
Asian filled theatre. And it wasn't me. It was a much younger woman. She had on a pair of jeans and a knit, light gray turtleneck sweater. She had brown hair. My hair is silver and I am much, much older. And she was a little beefier than I am, well her thighs were anyway. Then I was her again and not the observer.
End.
This experience happened today while I napped. This was one of those dreams or visions that I could not get free from. It's like it had a hold on me. It was very strange. I felt like I was Susan or at least someone other than myself. And it seemed as though I was dead perhaps or dying. I didn't necessarily think this while I was experiencing this, though. Rather, it was after I finally woke up that I thought this might explain why all this happened. And I was having this life review or remembering my life in some way. And that haunting song continued to play throughout. My Story, I think it was called. The Idol loser, that real cute girl with the reddish hair who lost. She sang it. That song was playing throughout all this.
I am not sure what this dream/vision/experience is about, if it's about me or about Susan Powell. Susan Powell is the young mother of two that was last seen on 7 December 2009 from West Valley City, Utah. I have had a number of dreams this month that seem to be about this beautiful missing young mother.
Dream or whatever it was:
I am laying in this really large area in what seems to be this huge movie theatre. Oh God it feels so good to lay here like this. and this blanket feels so good. I never want to move from here. I am so incredibly tired and my head is throbbing. I still feel sick. I am at the Epcot. I am at Epcot. Oh it feels so good here I never want to get up. Epcot Epcot. I've never been to Epcot. What is Epcot? I wonder what everyone thinks of me laying all covered up down in the front, here on the floor. I am so warm finally. It feels so good.
My head is laying on top of my leather purse....that nice soft light tan leather purse.
I begin going other places in my mind. Remembering. The movie is playing, it's so loud. Am I at Epcot or is this IMAX? I don't know. There's a huge movie screen right in front of me. I drift in and out of my memories and the movie plays on and on and on. I have so many memories. I can see them all now. Even the audience likes it. I hear them. I wonder if they see me lying down here and what they think. Maybe it's just a bunch of college kids and they wouldn't care anyway. The movie plays on and on. Whats that song that's playing, the one the girl on American Idol sang when they voted her off? My story? It's my story? The tune just plays over and over again. I wish I knew the words. I like this song. Over and over and over again. I begin to hum with the music.
I should go. I should go. Oh I see him he's screaming (her oldest, little dark-haired boy) he keeps screaming. I need to go. Oh no, I need to go. My children.
I get up and run out the side doors of the theatre. Oh my God. I am outside now. It looks like an entire city out here. And I am so high up. Epcot is so big. So many theatres. So big. Everything turns white suddenly. It's like a white out on a mountaintop when you're snow skiing. Then everything comes into focus again. I don't know what that was. And I am in a different place in Epcot now. I don't know how that happened. I need to go back where I was, get under the blanket, and sleep. That was so nice. I am still so tired. But where's the theatre I was in? I forgot my purse. Why did I leave everything behind. I need to go back and get my things. I want to see my kids.
At this point in all this, I go back inside the side door of a theatre as people are coming out. The movie has ended.
I am so glad I got back in time, to the right place. My stuff is probably still lying on the floor in the front. I am here in time, I think. My stuff is probably still here. I am going up the stairs against the flow of those who are exiting. i am sure I will see my stuff lying on the floor where I left them. Why didn't I just take everything with me? That's unlike me. I should have taken everything with me the first time. What was I thinking?
When I get inside, the floor is empty as if I was never there. No, it's the wrong theatre. I just have to find the right theatre. I just have to find where I was and everything will be okay.
I leave this theatre, only I head for one of the tiers that leads up to what I think is the hallway, the inside hallway where all the doors are to all the movie theatres. For some reason I shield my eyes because there's a light that's blinding me, but then the theatre is darkened, I notice, and I don't really know why I am shielding my eyes. I try to find my way up the stairs to the other door, the lobby door. They are all Asian in this theatre, and it's packed. Must be a good movie. I get out the door. Omg. Epcot is so big. I don't know where i am. Where am I? Where is everyone? I just want to go back to sleep on the floor. That felt so good, so warm. I am so tired. So tired. My head hurts so much. I just want to sleep. God help me, I feel so sick.
I wonder if I am really still on the floor and I never left? Why would I think such a thing? I wonder if I'm still here somewhere. I think I am. I just have to find myself again. I just have to keep looking for myself.
**Note: At some point I was the observer when she/I was leaving the
Asian filled theatre. And it wasn't me. It was a much younger woman. She had on a pair of jeans and a knit, light gray turtleneck sweater. She had brown hair. My hair is silver and I am much, much older. And she was a little beefier than I am, well her thighs were anyway. Then I was her again and not the observer.
End.
This experience happened today while I napped. This was one of those dreams or visions that I could not get free from. It's like it had a hold on me. It was very strange. I felt like I was Susan or at least someone other than myself. And it seemed as though I was dead perhaps or dying. I didn't necessarily think this while I was experiencing this, though. Rather, it was after I finally woke up that I thought this might explain why all this happened. And I was having this life review or remembering my life in some way. And that haunting song continued to play throughout. My Story, I think it was called. The Idol loser, that real cute girl with the reddish hair who lost. She sang it. That song was playing throughout all this.
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Kim's March Dreams - Many about Missing Children and Similar Subjects
I have been dreaming about Missing Children/People the entire month of March. Some of my dreams are metaphors for the missing, it seems. It's been an active dream/vision month.
8 March 2010 - Dingy motel room/drugs/sex
I am viewing this scene like I am out of body. I am in a dingy motel room. That's what it reminds me of, anyway. There is a young, dark-haired girl I would estimate to be 16 years old and two dark-haired, darker skinned boys, older than the girl. They are all high on drugs and the boys are/have been having sex with the girl. The girl is really messed up. She knows she's missing, but she can barely remember that she is because she's so high all the time. Every now and then, she remembers something about her other life, but it just seems like such a distant memory that she even questions that it was real. And she almost doesn't even care anymore. There are orange curtains at the only window in the room to the right of the door and they are drawn closed. It almost seems as though it is nearing sunrise outside. I can see the faintest of light through the curtains. But it could be moonlight, too or perhaps a light outside somewhere.
9 March 2010 - River/kayak/red fish/under my own power
I am at our house in Ohio. I go out into the back yard and our pond looks totally different. Instead of a little pond, it's like a river going through the backyard. And it continues for as far as I can see. The barn in our backyard is not there, only the river. This confuses me and I wonder how this can be? The water is so clear. There's a kayak at the shoreline and I get into the kayak and I begin to drift away from the shoreline. There"s something beyond the first part of the river that I notice. It scares me a little, like there's a waterfall or a cave. I am not sure what it is but it makes me anxious and afraid. I don't see any fish at all. Then the kayak turns into a boat. And now it seems to be much later in the day because it's nearing twilight. Suddenly, I see a fish in the water. It's reddish in color. Then I see another fish, the same kind. And I see a third. They are pretty big. I am enjoying seeing and watching these fish until I realize that I am drifting into that "unknown" area and I realize I don't have any oars or paddles. I feel a little panicked because I don't want to get closer to that part of the river that I am afraid of, that part that I can't quite see. Then to my delight, I realize that I am moving toward the shore again, because I can do this, make myself move from one place to the other, under my own power. And I arrive at the shoreline safe and I feel a great deal of relief.
This feels like another missing child to me. Don't know who. Reminded me a little about Lindsey, just because I thought that fish that was red may be a salmon. I also notice that in this dream and the one from 8 March, I mention Twilight. I also want to mention that in one of the first visions I ever had about Amber, I was moving under my own power, only flying. I think this might mean something special for me but I am not sure what. Perhaps it means a new case, a new missing child, or perhaps it means that the child has gone willingly, under her/his own power? Not sure yet. Still learning about my process.
9 March 2010 - Kim's Miscellaneous Notes on a Movie, Lovely Bones
My husband and I went to see the movie, Lovely Bones. It was a really weird experience for me. It's about a little girl who was murdered. There were so many things in the movie that seemed so familiar from some of the things I have seen in my dreams and visions, past and present. Her last name was Salmon. I thought of the red fish in my dream. There's a boy El Moro which I think was a street around where Athena _______, registered SO lives in Temecula, Ca. Hot air balloons with baskets (what I saw with Amber), a Combination safe where the little girl's body was stuffed. I got that combination back with Lindsey. All kinds of stuff with that movie that was just too weird. I should probably go see it again. It kind of freaked me out a little. Go see it if you can. Parts of it felt like certain things had actually happened to ME, things that seemed way too familiar. That's the part that was weird to me.
11 March 2010 - The Between Times - The Between Places
The other night when I got a dream along with the other dreams I had, I couldn't remember one of them. Well, it was given to me last night AGAIN. And it came to me almost like poetry this morning. Here's what I got.
Rigo moves in the between times, in the between places. As he moves, he finds a clue in Twilight.
Okay that's it. Now, Rigo (short for Rodrigo) is actually the name of our night watchman. He comes to work around 10PM and leaves at sunrise, around 6am or sometimes 5:30am, after he turns the generator on for the morning/breakfast crew. I am also familiar with the between times, between places, these are the times or places where life and death are closest and the veil is thin. Between times are at sunrise and sunset. Examples of between places are where water (lake, river, sea, creek) meets the shoreline, where the sky meets the horizon, where the mountains meet the land, stuff like that. You know, isn't it amazing how many children are found or found buried at the water's edge? Just thought of that. Anyway, this is my dream.
I also notice that this is the 3rd time that Twilight has come up for me.
10 March 2010 - Killer Whales/Orcas/Written Testimony
I was dreaming all night long about missing kids.
The first thing was that I was giving a written testimony to give someone to help to someone convict someone. I think it was the latter (I don't know why I wrote this....doesn't make sense, I think it was the latter?????). In my testimony, we found that whoever was taking these children had changed up their system or their routine or the way that they abduct the children. And we (Kim Mom Dom) had discovered this. And the FBI or LE arrested someone based on this theory. I think we also knew how he had changed up his routine and he was caught. He started changing his routine with Lindsey, by the way. He departed from what he had always done with Lindsey. That's what I was writing in this written testimony.
Another huge chunk of this series of dreams, I have forgotten. Note: I was actually given the dream I forgot the next night. The Rigo/Twilight Dream.
Then I hear something, not sure if it was part of my vision or outside the hotel we are staying in somewhere. But it sounded like a whale blowing air up through his spout. Then instantly I saw four whales in the ocean, all side by side in a row. They were the black and white Shamu-type looking whales. I got Killer Whales.....but I don't know their real name. When I woke up, I remember that the name is ORCA, ORCA whales.
Then I got Oregon. I knew the same person who's taken so many in Washington State is also taking children in Oregon. I think the exact wording I got was "Spilling over into Oregon."
12 March 2010 Vision: Child on Bicycle/Under Tree Arch/Ronfond Cameras
First I heard an audio and I heard what sounded like some black people talking to each other. Probably about three voices, one woman and two men. They were all in a dither about something. "Whacha gonna do now? Just chatter, real kind of "jive" talk.
Then later, my perspective is that I am standing on this walkway or sidewalk that has a low concrete wall on either side of the walkway. It may have been a bike path, actually. I think it was paved. I see these two trunks of what look like trees on ether side of the bike trail, outside the concrete wall (about 18" high) and they are directly opposing each other. They are more like shrubs and they grow up and over the path or bike trail. Really beautiful how they grow right up and over the path. I see a child on a bicycle peddling toward me. I think it's a girl but I'm not sure. And when the child gets sort of close, all of a sudden, it's like I am looking at the child through the lens of a camera and the my perspective zooms out suddenly, and the child looks far away. This happens very fast. First the child is close and then far away. I see the child pass under the arch that the two shrubs make. And then I hear Ronfon cameras or it could have been Ronfond cameras. Then Dave made a racket coming into the apartment and I got jolted out of that place.
13 March 2010 Dream - Keys and Alarm Thingy
I see a man standing but bent over and leaning against something. I can't make out what it is. And I only see him from the waist down. I see a set of keys clipped on to the right side of his pants, maybe attached to his belt loop. There's something else besides the keys. There's some sort of alarm thingy and it's going off. It's not loud. It makes sort of a dull jingling noise and this alerts him that something has happened, something unknown to me. Just then, my dogs start barking at something outside and they jolt me out of this.
Notes: At the beginning of this new series of dreams on 8 March, I sensed that these dreams I was having had to do with a new missing child. But I didn't know who. So, on around March 9th, I just asked, "Who is contacting me now?" I got the name Sophie. And since I was getting so much that seemed to be related to Lindsey Baum and Washington State, I googled all the missing children in Washington State. I found a Sophia (Sophie) Filipcic. Dom, Mish and I did a little research and Mish found a MySpace page on her and she seems to be living in Seattle, partying and posting regularly to her page. One of her friends is named KILLA WHALE, by the way. But she was so easy to locate and we can't figure out why her profiles online have not been updated. She's from Snohomish, Washington State. But, I also found this very weird reference to this huge cedar tree that was so big that an arch was made right though the middle of the tree and the tree was smack-dab in the middle of a bike path. But this was back in the early 1900's. And it was in Snohomish, too. So this seems weird to me that I had that vision of the child on a bike peddling under the same type of structure. The tree is long gone. So don't know why I picked up on this, but I want to see if there's still a bike path in this area anyway. If you want to see this strange phenomenon of a tree, here's the link. http://www.historylink.org/index.cfm?DisplayPage=output.cfm&fil...
There's also another Sofia that's been missing for about 7 years now. Sofia Lucerno Juarez, missing from Kennewick, Washington. She would be 12 years old now. Strange circumstances surrounding her disappearance, in my opinion. Something doesn't seem right to me about the stories told. So we are looking at the possibility that this might be the Sophie I got. Not at all sure.
18 March - Kim's Dream - Little Dead Birds/Playground
God, I had this weird dream early this morning. I think the bird theme is actually a missing children theme, for me anyway. Here's the dream.
Dave and I are in our garden area behind our kitchen/restaurant area here at our hotel in Mexcio. All of a sudden, I see this small bird flying toward me and I turn away a little because it's flying straight for my head. The bird flies into the back of my head and seems to burrow it's head into my hair and I can feel it's little beak trying to nestle it's way into my hair. Dave is behind me and I say, "OMG honey, is this a bird in my hair?" He says, "Yeah!" We are both really surprised. Then this really big flock of little birds (yellow and gray) fly into my back. There are so many little birds, that the weight of them push me over a little bit and I am standing there, bent at the waist, not moving. I am absolutely stunned beyond measure to have all these little birds on my back. Dave is equally as stunned.
I say to Dave, "OMG, honey. What's going on here?" He tells me that all the little birds are dead, all of them. But they are still clinging to my shirt so even though they're dead, they are not falling off. I walk over to this little concrete wall that is bordering a children's playground. I get down on all fours and with my hands, I scoop out a big, long hole in the sand. Then I tilt my body sideways and Dave helps me get all the little birds into the hole. I look at them to make sure that they are all dead. There are so many. And their little eyes are still open. I feel sad. But they are all dead. I begin to cover them with the sand, but there are so many, I can't seem to get them all covered up. I see a mound of sand nearby and begin putting more and more sand on them until they are all covered up.
I feel very sad and just don't understand why all these little birds died.
Well another strange thing just happened for real about 30 minutes ago. There was a small hawk perched right over our driveway into our parking lot. We have this PVC arched over the driveway and there's a big bougainvillea vine growing over it and there was this hawk. I have never, ever seen one on the property or even this far on the coast. We see them inland, but never here. Anyway, we just watched him for awhile. Then he flew south down the beach road. Then yesterday, there was a baby woodpecker laying dead on top of one of our solar lights in the parking lot, too. Dave put him in the jungle. He looked like he was old enough to fly. He was pretty big actually, but had little tail feathers. That's how I knew he was a baby. Weird bird stuff. The hawk may have been a baby too. He was small.
I HAVE A GREAT AND AWESOME FOLLOWUP TO THIS DREAM ABOUT ALL THE DEAD BIRDS.
19 March - Kim's Experience in Real Life - YAY!
Eduardo (our manager) just came into the office holding a little wild yellow and gray bird. He had flown up against the windows in the restaurant really hard. He didn't look good, his eyes were all weird, half shut, and never attempted to move. Honest to God, this was exactly like the little yellow and gray birds in my dream. Anyway, Eduardo handed him to me. I put him to my chest and held him and just two-pointed him for all of 30 seconds or so. I looked down and his eyes were wide open and he was clinging for dear life to my shirt. Then he wrapped his little feet around my fingers. I took him outside and just held him in the palm of my hand and instead of flying away, he just stayed in my palm and kept looking over at me. Then he flew to a tree, then flew to another. He's fine. YAY!!!!
20 March 2010 - Kim's Dreams - Underground Dorm Room/cafeteria/shopping cart/fat lady
I am standing outside or in a car, not sure. I am looking at this lone building, about three stories high. The first floor may be a parking garage. It looks like it was an attempt at a modern design, maybe left over from the 60's or 70's. There might be a parking lot adjacent, I am not sure. It's just all so barren looking. The building appears to be made of metal. It stands alone in a landscape that is pretty void. There may be mountains in the background. I get the feeling that it's some sort of industrial area or even military area that's being used or recycled for dorms now or housing of some kind. Anyway, I have a niece or great niece who is going to college and I have located this as her apartment or dorm complex where she is living.
I almost go on to the building but then I think it would be a good idea to go get some food or some groceries, some goodies for her as a surprise. So I go to this place that looks a little like a cafeteria but it seems there's groceries sold here too. When I walk inside, I go to this desk area and begin to ask some questions or ask for assistance. Nobody seems to want to help me or is able or wants to answer my questions. Finally, this tallish woman comes out from the back. She has longish dark brown hair and wears a burgundy knit dress, rather form fitting. She is slim. I can see at a glance that she's stressed out and she's quite curt. I direct my questions to her as she seems to be a supervisor. She says to me, "I can't help you right now. You are on your own. We have a group of 100 people coming in here today and we're just too busy here to help you." I was really only asking some basic questions to which she could have answered in the time it took her to tell me she couldn't help me. I got a shopping cart and went around the corner to the left to see what I could find. It seems as though someone was with me, actually. I want to say a gay, male friend but I don't know who.
I see some toys, some large plastic yard toys for children. I see this huge plastic slide that snaps together in these squarish pieces. Each segment is a different color. I buy some things for the "girls" back at the dorm. They seem to be food items but there is quite a lot and I use a shopping cart to get these things to my car.
I arrive at the metal building and my gay male friend is still with me. He's helping me deal with all that I've purchased. I go inside the building. But my friend is no longer with me now. I locate the room that the "girls" are in. My arms are full of shopping bags, paper bags, now that I recall. I maneuver one hand enough to open the door and when I do I cannot believe my eyes. At the threshold of the door, once opened, the room is actually about 10 feet below the level that I am standing on at the doorway. I almost topple right down into the room because I have already poised myself to take a step forward. Fortunately I catch myself before falling down into the room. The room is only big enough for three mattresses which are side-by-side down below. The walls appear to be cinder block and painted white with oil based paint. The walls are really shiney. And there seems to be some curtains and perhaps a window above the mattresses. There's a small space to walk at the end of the mattresses, but that's about it. Then my niece (I think) is standing and looking up at me. She is happy to see me and invites me inside. I see the same plastic, segmented slide that I saw back at the store attached to the threshold of the door continuing down into the room. They have rigged it so that it is more like a ladder instead of a slide, like I saw in the store. I only recall the feelings I have about this place. Something isn't right. This feels like a trap to me, a prison to me. Although my niece seems happy and adjusted in this place, something feels very wrong to ME.
**NOTE: I am going to interject this next part because I don't know exactly when it fits into this rather epic dream. At some point, I see this absolutely enormous woman sitting on a wooden bench in what looks to be a mall or big lobby. It may be the lobby of this metal dorm building. I am not sure. When I first look at her, I feel rather disgusted because I don't think I've ever seen anyone this big before. But there seems to be something familiar about her to me, like I know her or used to know her when I was a little girl. And I get a creepy feeling about her like she's a child molester or a kidnapper or something. I cannot put my finger on it. Something makes me go over to where she is sitting. It's almost as if I cannot keep myself from going over to her. As I move closer, I begin to get younger and younger and younger, until when I finally sit down beside her, I am quite small, quite young, a child. I sit there close to her and she doesn't respond in the slightest. I begin to get really, really, really said. I feel so absolutely alone in the world, and she seems to be my only connection. I move closer to her, and still she doesn't respond. I feel so very sad and alone. She is facing away from me a little. I put my arms around her enormous body and my little arms only reach around her a little bit because I am so small. I can feel the huge folds of fat all along her side, though her dress. And in some weird way, this comforts me a little, even though she doesn't move an inch or respond in any way. I lay my head against her back and side and I just stay there. I cannot express how sad I feel.
8 March 2010 - Dingy motel room/drugs/sex
I am viewing this scene like I am out of body. I am in a dingy motel room. That's what it reminds me of, anyway. There is a young, dark-haired girl I would estimate to be 16 years old and two dark-haired, darker skinned boys, older than the girl. They are all high on drugs and the boys are/have been having sex with the girl. The girl is really messed up. She knows she's missing, but she can barely remember that she is because she's so high all the time. Every now and then, she remembers something about her other life, but it just seems like such a distant memory that she even questions that it was real. And she almost doesn't even care anymore. There are orange curtains at the only window in the room to the right of the door and they are drawn closed. It almost seems as though it is nearing sunrise outside. I can see the faintest of light through the curtains. But it could be moonlight, too or perhaps a light outside somewhere.
9 March 2010 - River/kayak/red fish/under my own power
I am at our house in Ohio. I go out into the back yard and our pond looks totally different. Instead of a little pond, it's like a river going through the backyard. And it continues for as far as I can see. The barn in our backyard is not there, only the river. This confuses me and I wonder how this can be? The water is so clear. There's a kayak at the shoreline and I get into the kayak and I begin to drift away from the shoreline. There"s something beyond the first part of the river that I notice. It scares me a little, like there's a waterfall or a cave. I am not sure what it is but it makes me anxious and afraid. I don't see any fish at all. Then the kayak turns into a boat. And now it seems to be much later in the day because it's nearing twilight. Suddenly, I see a fish in the water. It's reddish in color. Then I see another fish, the same kind. And I see a third. They are pretty big. I am enjoying seeing and watching these fish until I realize that I am drifting into that "unknown" area and I realize I don't have any oars or paddles. I feel a little panicked because I don't want to get closer to that part of the river that I am afraid of, that part that I can't quite see. Then to my delight, I realize that I am moving toward the shore again, because I can do this, make myself move from one place to the other, under my own power. And I arrive at the shoreline safe and I feel a great deal of relief.
This feels like another missing child to me. Don't know who. Reminded me a little about Lindsey, just because I thought that fish that was red may be a salmon. I also notice that in this dream and the one from 8 March, I mention Twilight. I also want to mention that in one of the first visions I ever had about Amber, I was moving under my own power, only flying. I think this might mean something special for me but I am not sure what. Perhaps it means a new case, a new missing child, or perhaps it means that the child has gone willingly, under her/his own power? Not sure yet. Still learning about my process.
9 March 2010 - Kim's Miscellaneous Notes on a Movie, Lovely Bones
My husband and I went to see the movie, Lovely Bones. It was a really weird experience for me. It's about a little girl who was murdered. There were so many things in the movie that seemed so familiar from some of the things I have seen in my dreams and visions, past and present. Her last name was Salmon. I thought of the red fish in my dream. There's a boy El Moro which I think was a street around where Athena _______, registered SO lives in Temecula, Ca. Hot air balloons with baskets (what I saw with Amber), a Combination safe where the little girl's body was stuffed. I got that combination back with Lindsey. All kinds of stuff with that movie that was just too weird. I should probably go see it again. It kind of freaked me out a little. Go see it if you can. Parts of it felt like certain things had actually happened to ME, things that seemed way too familiar. That's the part that was weird to me.
11 March 2010 - The Between Times - The Between Places
The other night when I got a dream along with the other dreams I had, I couldn't remember one of them. Well, it was given to me last night AGAIN. And it came to me almost like poetry this morning. Here's what I got.
Rigo moves in the between times, in the between places. As he moves, he finds a clue in Twilight.
Okay that's it. Now, Rigo (short for Rodrigo) is actually the name of our night watchman. He comes to work around 10PM and leaves at sunrise, around 6am or sometimes 5:30am, after he turns the generator on for the morning/breakfast crew. I am also familiar with the between times, between places, these are the times or places where life and death are closest and the veil is thin. Between times are at sunrise and sunset. Examples of between places are where water (lake, river, sea, creek) meets the shoreline, where the sky meets the horizon, where the mountains meet the land, stuff like that. You know, isn't it amazing how many children are found or found buried at the water's edge? Just thought of that. Anyway, this is my dream.
I also notice that this is the 3rd time that Twilight has come up for me.
10 March 2010 - Killer Whales/Orcas/Written Testimony
I was dreaming all night long about missing kids.
The first thing was that I was giving a written testimony to give someone to help to someone convict someone. I think it was the latter (I don't know why I wrote this....doesn't make sense, I think it was the latter?????). In my testimony, we found that whoever was taking these children had changed up their system or their routine or the way that they abduct the children. And we (Kim Mom Dom) had discovered this. And the FBI or LE arrested someone based on this theory. I think we also knew how he had changed up his routine and he was caught. He started changing his routine with Lindsey, by the way. He departed from what he had always done with Lindsey. That's what I was writing in this written testimony.
Another huge chunk of this series of dreams, I have forgotten. Note: I was actually given the dream I forgot the next night. The Rigo/Twilight Dream.
Then I hear something, not sure if it was part of my vision or outside the hotel we are staying in somewhere. But it sounded like a whale blowing air up through his spout. Then instantly I saw four whales in the ocean, all side by side in a row. They were the black and white Shamu-type looking whales. I got Killer Whales.....but I don't know their real name. When I woke up, I remember that the name is ORCA, ORCA whales.
Then I got Oregon. I knew the same person who's taken so many in Washington State is also taking children in Oregon. I think the exact wording I got was "Spilling over into Oregon."
12 March 2010 Vision: Child on Bicycle/Under Tree Arch/Ronfond Cameras
First I heard an audio and I heard what sounded like some black people talking to each other. Probably about three voices, one woman and two men. They were all in a dither about something. "Whacha gonna do now? Just chatter, real kind of "jive" talk.
Then later, my perspective is that I am standing on this walkway or sidewalk that has a low concrete wall on either side of the walkway. It may have been a bike path, actually. I think it was paved. I see these two trunks of what look like trees on ether side of the bike trail, outside the concrete wall (about 18" high) and they are directly opposing each other. They are more like shrubs and they grow up and over the path or bike trail. Really beautiful how they grow right up and over the path. I see a child on a bicycle peddling toward me. I think it's a girl but I'm not sure. And when the child gets sort of close, all of a sudden, it's like I am looking at the child through the lens of a camera and the my perspective zooms out suddenly, and the child looks far away. This happens very fast. First the child is close and then far away. I see the child pass under the arch that the two shrubs make. And then I hear Ronfon cameras or it could have been Ronfond cameras. Then Dave made a racket coming into the apartment and I got jolted out of that place.
13 March 2010 Dream - Keys and Alarm Thingy
I see a man standing but bent over and leaning against something. I can't make out what it is. And I only see him from the waist down. I see a set of keys clipped on to the right side of his pants, maybe attached to his belt loop. There's something else besides the keys. There's some sort of alarm thingy and it's going off. It's not loud. It makes sort of a dull jingling noise and this alerts him that something has happened, something unknown to me. Just then, my dogs start barking at something outside and they jolt me out of this.
Notes: At the beginning of this new series of dreams on 8 March, I sensed that these dreams I was having had to do with a new missing child. But I didn't know who. So, on around March 9th, I just asked, "Who is contacting me now?" I got the name Sophie. And since I was getting so much that seemed to be related to Lindsey Baum and Washington State, I googled all the missing children in Washington State. I found a Sophia (Sophie) Filipcic. Dom, Mish and I did a little research and Mish found a MySpace page on her and she seems to be living in Seattle, partying and posting regularly to her page. One of her friends is named KILLA WHALE, by the way. But she was so easy to locate and we can't figure out why her profiles online have not been updated. She's from Snohomish, Washington State. But, I also found this very weird reference to this huge cedar tree that was so big that an arch was made right though the middle of the tree and the tree was smack-dab in the middle of a bike path. But this was back in the early 1900's. And it was in Snohomish, too. So this seems weird to me that I had that vision of the child on a bike peddling under the same type of structure. The tree is long gone. So don't know why I picked up on this, but I want to see if there's still a bike path in this area anyway. If you want to see this strange phenomenon of a tree, here's the link. http://www.historylink.org/index.cfm?DisplayPage=output.cfm&fil...
There's also another Sofia that's been missing for about 7 years now. Sofia Lucerno Juarez, missing from Kennewick, Washington. She would be 12 years old now. Strange circumstances surrounding her disappearance, in my opinion. Something doesn't seem right to me about the stories told. So we are looking at the possibility that this might be the Sophie I got. Not at all sure.
18 March - Kim's Dream - Little Dead Birds/Playground
God, I had this weird dream early this morning. I think the bird theme is actually a missing children theme, for me anyway. Here's the dream.
Dave and I are in our garden area behind our kitchen/restaurant area here at our hotel in Mexcio. All of a sudden, I see this small bird flying toward me and I turn away a little because it's flying straight for my head. The bird flies into the back of my head and seems to burrow it's head into my hair and I can feel it's little beak trying to nestle it's way into my hair. Dave is behind me and I say, "OMG honey, is this a bird in my hair?" He says, "Yeah!" We are both really surprised. Then this really big flock of little birds (yellow and gray) fly into my back. There are so many little birds, that the weight of them push me over a little bit and I am standing there, bent at the waist, not moving. I am absolutely stunned beyond measure to have all these little birds on my back. Dave is equally as stunned.
I say to Dave, "OMG, honey. What's going on here?" He tells me that all the little birds are dead, all of them. But they are still clinging to my shirt so even though they're dead, they are not falling off. I walk over to this little concrete wall that is bordering a children's playground. I get down on all fours and with my hands, I scoop out a big, long hole in the sand. Then I tilt my body sideways and Dave helps me get all the little birds into the hole. I look at them to make sure that they are all dead. There are so many. And their little eyes are still open. I feel sad. But they are all dead. I begin to cover them with the sand, but there are so many, I can't seem to get them all covered up. I see a mound of sand nearby and begin putting more and more sand on them until they are all covered up.
I feel very sad and just don't understand why all these little birds died.
Well another strange thing just happened for real about 30 minutes ago. There was a small hawk perched right over our driveway into our parking lot. We have this PVC arched over the driveway and there's a big bougainvillea vine growing over it and there was this hawk. I have never, ever seen one on the property or even this far on the coast. We see them inland, but never here. Anyway, we just watched him for awhile. Then he flew south down the beach road. Then yesterday, there was a baby woodpecker laying dead on top of one of our solar lights in the parking lot, too. Dave put him in the jungle. He looked like he was old enough to fly. He was pretty big actually, but had little tail feathers. That's how I knew he was a baby. Weird bird stuff. The hawk may have been a baby too. He was small.
I HAVE A GREAT AND AWESOME FOLLOWUP TO THIS DREAM ABOUT ALL THE DEAD BIRDS.
19 March - Kim's Experience in Real Life - YAY!
Eduardo (our manager) just came into the office holding a little wild yellow and gray bird. He had flown up against the windows in the restaurant really hard. He didn't look good, his eyes were all weird, half shut, and never attempted to move. Honest to God, this was exactly like the little yellow and gray birds in my dream. Anyway, Eduardo handed him to me. I put him to my chest and held him and just two-pointed him for all of 30 seconds or so. I looked down and his eyes were wide open and he was clinging for dear life to my shirt. Then he wrapped his little feet around my fingers. I took him outside and just held him in the palm of my hand and instead of flying away, he just stayed in my palm and kept looking over at me. Then he flew to a tree, then flew to another. He's fine. YAY!!!!
20 March 2010 - Kim's Dreams - Underground Dorm Room/cafeteria/shopping cart/fat lady
I am standing outside or in a car, not sure. I am looking at this lone building, about three stories high. The first floor may be a parking garage. It looks like it was an attempt at a modern design, maybe left over from the 60's or 70's. There might be a parking lot adjacent, I am not sure. It's just all so barren looking. The building appears to be made of metal. It stands alone in a landscape that is pretty void. There may be mountains in the background. I get the feeling that it's some sort of industrial area or even military area that's being used or recycled for dorms now or housing of some kind. Anyway, I have a niece or great niece who is going to college and I have located this as her apartment or dorm complex where she is living.
I almost go on to the building but then I think it would be a good idea to go get some food or some groceries, some goodies for her as a surprise. So I go to this place that looks a little like a cafeteria but it seems there's groceries sold here too. When I walk inside, I go to this desk area and begin to ask some questions or ask for assistance. Nobody seems to want to help me or is able or wants to answer my questions. Finally, this tallish woman comes out from the back. She has longish dark brown hair and wears a burgundy knit dress, rather form fitting. She is slim. I can see at a glance that she's stressed out and she's quite curt. I direct my questions to her as she seems to be a supervisor. She says to me, "I can't help you right now. You are on your own. We have a group of 100 people coming in here today and we're just too busy here to help you." I was really only asking some basic questions to which she could have answered in the time it took her to tell me she couldn't help me. I got a shopping cart and went around the corner to the left to see what I could find. It seems as though someone was with me, actually. I want to say a gay, male friend but I don't know who.
I see some toys, some large plastic yard toys for children. I see this huge plastic slide that snaps together in these squarish pieces. Each segment is a different color. I buy some things for the "girls" back at the dorm. They seem to be food items but there is quite a lot and I use a shopping cart to get these things to my car.
I arrive at the metal building and my gay male friend is still with me. He's helping me deal with all that I've purchased. I go inside the building. But my friend is no longer with me now. I locate the room that the "girls" are in. My arms are full of shopping bags, paper bags, now that I recall. I maneuver one hand enough to open the door and when I do I cannot believe my eyes. At the threshold of the door, once opened, the room is actually about 10 feet below the level that I am standing on at the doorway. I almost topple right down into the room because I have already poised myself to take a step forward. Fortunately I catch myself before falling down into the room. The room is only big enough for three mattresses which are side-by-side down below. The walls appear to be cinder block and painted white with oil based paint. The walls are really shiney. And there seems to be some curtains and perhaps a window above the mattresses. There's a small space to walk at the end of the mattresses, but that's about it. Then my niece (I think) is standing and looking up at me. She is happy to see me and invites me inside. I see the same plastic, segmented slide that I saw back at the store attached to the threshold of the door continuing down into the room. They have rigged it so that it is more like a ladder instead of a slide, like I saw in the store. I only recall the feelings I have about this place. Something isn't right. This feels like a trap to me, a prison to me. Although my niece seems happy and adjusted in this place, something feels very wrong to ME.
**NOTE: I am going to interject this next part because I don't know exactly when it fits into this rather epic dream. At some point, I see this absolutely enormous woman sitting on a wooden bench in what looks to be a mall or big lobby. It may be the lobby of this metal dorm building. I am not sure. When I first look at her, I feel rather disgusted because I don't think I've ever seen anyone this big before. But there seems to be something familiar about her to me, like I know her or used to know her when I was a little girl. And I get a creepy feeling about her like she's a child molester or a kidnapper or something. I cannot put my finger on it. Something makes me go over to where she is sitting. It's almost as if I cannot keep myself from going over to her. As I move closer, I begin to get younger and younger and younger, until when I finally sit down beside her, I am quite small, quite young, a child. I sit there close to her and she doesn't respond in the slightest. I begin to get really, really, really said. I feel so absolutely alone in the world, and she seems to be my only connection. I move closer to her, and still she doesn't respond. I feel so very sad and alone. She is facing away from me a little. I put my arms around her enormous body and my little arms only reach around her a little bit because I am so small. I can feel the huge folds of fat all along her side, though her dress. And in some weird way, this comforts me a little, even though she doesn't move an inch or respond in any way. I lay my head against her back and side and I just stay there. I cannot express how sad I feel.
Saturday, February 6, 2010
5 Feb 2010 - RockBot
I am what's called a RockBot. I am part of the rock landscape in this underground cavern. There's a river that runs through this underground place. I rise up out of this big rock formation as a little, egg-shaped being. I am made of rock and I have one big eye and I can fly, although I have no wings. I rise up and as I do, I can see that these inscriptions begin to appear on several of the rock formations that come up out of the water below me now. It's as though some unseen hand is actually etching these writings as I observe them. And the etchings are golden in color as they appear and they seem to have a slight glow about them.
I look and watch this taking place before me, and I know that the writings mean something, and mean something to me. Consciously, however, I don't understand them. And I do have consciousness.
I explore my surroundings with my one eye. It's beautiful in its own way. There seems to be an architected tunnel where the river continues. The tunnel has an arched ceiling and the ceiling and the walls of the tunnel look to be made of rock, as well, but the rock is so perfectly stacked and laid, that it doesn't look like a natural phenomenon. It looks like it is built by something or someone. I hover and look how the river flows through this tunnel and I am curious. I want to follow the river.
When I kind of float and hover at the entrance, still looking down this long expanse, I prepare myself to enter through the mouth of the tunnel, and suddenly another RockBot appears before me. The other RockBot looks exactly like I do with one big eye. And we hover there looking at one another. When I move to the right, the other RockBot does the same. When I move to the left, the other RockBot does too. It's as if the other RockBot is blocking me from entering.
There's no communication between us. And I don't feel ill-intent from the other RockBot, but I am sure that the other RockBot is blocking me from going into the tunnel. And I want to enter so badly, but cannot seem to navigate around the other RockBot.
The dream ends here and I have another dream that's similar. In my second dream, I am also flying, but I am me. Although I repeated this dream to my husband, neither one of us can remember the details. All I remember is that I am flying and again, like the RockBot, I am blocked from flying where I want to fly. This is all that I can remember about the second dream.
I look and watch this taking place before me, and I know that the writings mean something, and mean something to me. Consciously, however, I don't understand them. And I do have consciousness.
I explore my surroundings with my one eye. It's beautiful in its own way. There seems to be an architected tunnel where the river continues. The tunnel has an arched ceiling and the ceiling and the walls of the tunnel look to be made of rock, as well, but the rock is so perfectly stacked and laid, that it doesn't look like a natural phenomenon. It looks like it is built by something or someone. I hover and look how the river flows through this tunnel and I am curious. I want to follow the river.
When I kind of float and hover at the entrance, still looking down this long expanse, I prepare myself to enter through the mouth of the tunnel, and suddenly another RockBot appears before me. The other RockBot looks exactly like I do with one big eye. And we hover there looking at one another. When I move to the right, the other RockBot does the same. When I move to the left, the other RockBot does too. It's as if the other RockBot is blocking me from entering.
There's no communication between us. And I don't feel ill-intent from the other RockBot, but I am sure that the other RockBot is blocking me from going into the tunnel. And I want to enter so badly, but cannot seem to navigate around the other RockBot.
The dream ends here and I have another dream that's similar. In my second dream, I am also flying, but I am me. Although I repeated this dream to my husband, neither one of us can remember the details. All I remember is that I am flying and again, like the RockBot, I am blocked from flying where I want to fly. This is all that I can remember about the second dream.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
My Name is Barierro!
My husband and I are in a restaurant. We are seated in a booth. Absolutely nothing can be seen inside the restaurant. It is completely black. I mean black. There's no lights, no waiters, no nothing. But, seated directly across the table from us is a man who has died. He was a friend of ours. I don't know why I recognize him because he looks nothing like the person I knew in life. I said, "Bill?" He said, "Yes." And there seemed to be a spotlight on him, a spotlight coming from somewhere we couldn't identify.
In life, Bill was short and heavy set. His personality made him a real cutie pie. He was far from handsome. He was a fine, fine actor and Bill and I had been in many plays together. He was in his late 60's, I would guess when he passed away. The person sitting across the table from us was Bill but looked nothing like Bill. The New Bill is young, probably in his mid to late 30's. He's dressed in a formal black suit but it looks like something someone from Mexican descent would wear. He sat quietly, with his hands folded on top of the table in front of him. He has jet-black hair, a little longish and fashionable. He has a quiet, mysterious countenance. I ask, "How are you?" He replied, "Here, my name is Barierro! He accentuated the double R sound and sounded authentically Mexican. He looked it too.
He said something about the dates from February 3rd to February 16th but I didn't really understand what he was talking about and neither did my husband. And I saw these dates typed out in red letters either in my mind's eye or on a piece of paper. I am not sure.
We spent most of our time with him being silent and not saying much of anything. I remember wondering why all these dead people are paying me visits recently. In real life, I have talked with a couple dead people this week. It was a curious dream, and while not much happened, it was memorable.
In life, Bill was short and heavy set. His personality made him a real cutie pie. He was far from handsome. He was a fine, fine actor and Bill and I had been in many plays together. He was in his late 60's, I would guess when he passed away. The person sitting across the table from us was Bill but looked nothing like Bill. The New Bill is young, probably in his mid to late 30's. He's dressed in a formal black suit but it looks like something someone from Mexican descent would wear. He sat quietly, with his hands folded on top of the table in front of him. He has jet-black hair, a little longish and fashionable. He has a quiet, mysterious countenance. I ask, "How are you?" He replied, "Here, my name is Barierro! He accentuated the double R sound and sounded authentically Mexican. He looked it too.
He said something about the dates from February 3rd to February 16th but I didn't really understand what he was talking about and neither did my husband. And I saw these dates typed out in red letters either in my mind's eye or on a piece of paper. I am not sure.
We spent most of our time with him being silent and not saying much of anything. I remember wondering why all these dead people are paying me visits recently. In real life, I have talked with a couple dead people this week. It was a curious dream, and while not much happened, it was memorable.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Reconfiguring and Reformulating
I did a Matrix session with myself yesterday and I actually asked for something for myself. Typically, when I do a session with myself, I don't state anything specific. I just let go and work with whatever shows up. But yesterday I asked for something specific. After the session with myself, I fell asleep and had one of those deep, deep sleeps, feeling really, really heavy when I woke up. And I was really confused as to where I was and what time of day it was, too. I woke up totally thinking it was the next morning because I heard the generator come on. But, the light in the room seemed different. It took me several minutes to realize what day and time it was. But, I remembered some things from my nap.
I remembered that I wasn't alone. I remembered that I kept seeing these words on either a piece of paper or on a computer screen. I couldn't really tell but I tend to think the words were on a computer screen. These were some sort of formulas or configurations and they had to do with me. And I felt as though "others" were working to reconfigure or reformulate me in accordance to my request.
Then this morning when I woke up, again I felt this heaviness, like I had been somewhere else in the early morning hours. And like there were "others" working with me. It hit me how powerful this is.
Now, it's about Noon and I just feel so raw inside. I am extremely emotional. Even though I sort of feel like I could lash out because I feel so raw, I also recognize that I have felt like this before and this usually occurs when I am in the middle of shifting something, some unseen and unknown part of myself to a better place, a more useful place. Just a few minutes ago, I just grabbed my manager, put my arms around him, and held him close to me. I told him how much I loved him and how much I appreciate him. And I felt like my heart would break, but really, it's just my heart expanding.
Sometimes when my heart expands, I want to lash out because what I am feeling is so intense. But I know that I have this lashing out tendency only because it feels so different and that's just the label I put on it. I just know that God is not orchestrating this shift in me in order for me to lash out. He is orchestrating this shift in me to Love, to Love more, and more deeply, especially to appreciate the love in ME, the love I have for myself. I just have to step back a little and consider that this shift is to my highest good and it's always about Love in one way or another, even though it feels like something else.
And I am reminded of that story I told about this in my Veronica's Whisper series on http://veronicaswhisper.blogspot.com. I remember screaming at God, "Why do I feel so sad all the time. I can't live like this. What's this all about?" And he replied "It's love. It's love. I just make it feel like sadness to get your attention." And that experience gave me the perspective to view these shifts that feel like sadness or rawness or anger in a different way........from Love.
I remembered that I wasn't alone. I remembered that I kept seeing these words on either a piece of paper or on a computer screen. I couldn't really tell but I tend to think the words were on a computer screen. These were some sort of formulas or configurations and they had to do with me. And I felt as though "others" were working to reconfigure or reformulate me in accordance to my request.
Then this morning when I woke up, again I felt this heaviness, like I had been somewhere else in the early morning hours. And like there were "others" working with me. It hit me how powerful this is.
Now, it's about Noon and I just feel so raw inside. I am extremely emotional. Even though I sort of feel like I could lash out because I feel so raw, I also recognize that I have felt like this before and this usually occurs when I am in the middle of shifting something, some unseen and unknown part of myself to a better place, a more useful place. Just a few minutes ago, I just grabbed my manager, put my arms around him, and held him close to me. I told him how much I loved him and how much I appreciate him. And I felt like my heart would break, but really, it's just my heart expanding.
Sometimes when my heart expands, I want to lash out because what I am feeling is so intense. But I know that I have this lashing out tendency only because it feels so different and that's just the label I put on it. I just know that God is not orchestrating this shift in me in order for me to lash out. He is orchestrating this shift in me to Love, to Love more, and more deeply, especially to appreciate the love in ME, the love I have for myself. I just have to step back a little and consider that this shift is to my highest good and it's always about Love in one way or another, even though it feels like something else.
And I am reminded of that story I told about this in my Veronica's Whisper series on http://veronicaswhisper.blogspot.com. I remember screaming at God, "Why do I feel so sad all the time. I can't live like this. What's this all about?" And he replied "It's love. It's love. I just make it feel like sadness to get your attention." And that experience gave me the perspective to view these shifts that feel like sadness or rawness or anger in a different way........from Love.
Saturday, January 16, 2010
14 Jan - The White Corpse
I am in what looks like a church. There is a raised platform up front with what looks to be an altar, lecterns, communion table and candelabras. It's all white. A body of a young woman has been found murdered and she is terribly cut up and mutilated. Her nude body is up by the altar. For some reason, the only thing I am worried about is if the woman's body is going to offend me or make me sick. But, I want to go up there and look at her body.
Then this man approaches me down where the congregation sits. He is clean cut, about 40 years old, dressed in a suit, hair recently cut short. And he's real slick, like some kind of player/con man. He looks almost plastic, everything about him is just too perfect. He says to me, "If you ever want to just hang out, just as friends, here's my card." He hands me his card, and adds, "You know, hang out, just as friends."
Then these three young girls approach me (I am quite young, too) and they say to me, "We are going to the border to have some fun. Wanna come?" I know that accepting their invitation will result in trouble for me, or worse. But, it's like I cannot say no. So, I agree to go with them. Then I glance toward the altar where the white corpse of the dead girl is. And one of these girls who has just approached me is doing something to the corpse, but I cannot see what. But when the girl steps aside, the dead girl doesn't even look human. She has been put back together, all the cut marks and incisions gone. But, she now looks like some big blow-up doll. And her mouth is wide, wide open and her eyes too. It was freakish to see. She just didn't look real. She looked almost like a huge rubber doll that was inflated with too much air.
I felt so weird. I kept doing things against my will and acting in ways I would never act normally. Even when I was young, I wouldn't have found myself in this situation. Just being in this situation was weird because I don't even place myself in these situations normally. I just didn't feel like myself.
Then this man approaches me down where the congregation sits. He is clean cut, about 40 years old, dressed in a suit, hair recently cut short. And he's real slick, like some kind of player/con man. He looks almost plastic, everything about him is just too perfect. He says to me, "If you ever want to just hang out, just as friends, here's my card." He hands me his card, and adds, "You know, hang out, just as friends."
Then these three young girls approach me (I am quite young, too) and they say to me, "We are going to the border to have some fun. Wanna come?" I know that accepting their invitation will result in trouble for me, or worse. But, it's like I cannot say no. So, I agree to go with them. Then I glance toward the altar where the white corpse of the dead girl is. And one of these girls who has just approached me is doing something to the corpse, but I cannot see what. But when the girl steps aside, the dead girl doesn't even look human. She has been put back together, all the cut marks and incisions gone. But, she now looks like some big blow-up doll. And her mouth is wide, wide open and her eyes too. It was freakish to see. She just didn't look real. She looked almost like a huge rubber doll that was inflated with too much air.
I felt so weird. I kept doing things against my will and acting in ways I would never act normally. Even when I was young, I wouldn't have found myself in this situation. Just being in this situation was weird because I don't even place myself in these situations normally. I just didn't feel like myself.
13 Jan '10 - The Indian Wise Man & Shaman
The situation is this: There have been a series of murders of young women as well as some strange weather patterns in our area. My husband and I are holding a meeting about the murders in what looks like the fellowship hall of a church, in the basement. My husband, Dave, has enlisted the help of several people to come speak with us, as a neighborhood, as a community. One of the speakers is an elderly Native American Indian man. He steps up onto the stage. My husband introduces him. He stands before the small crowd. Dave asks the Indian man if he's a Shaman. The Indian man answers that he has learned all that he knows from a Native American Indian Shaman who is now in Spirit. He talks about how he used to be alone in the world, but that he was joined with a woman who later became his wife. And the Indian man introduces his wife and she steps upon the stage.
After all the speakers are finished speaking, a group of police come up to me. They show me a written statement that I had given them previously about the murders. They are challenging me and what I have written in my statement to them. I realize that they consider me a suspect in the murders. They point to my written statement and ask me about the name that I had written on my statement. The name is in bold, black letters on the paper. WOLENZE. They ask me if I wrote this name. I answered that I had. But, when they asked me about the name, I couldn't remember anything about the name. They asked me other questions and I tried to answer as truthfully as I could. They questioned me further but were finally satisfied that I had nothing to do with the murders.
Then the scene changes and Dave and I are at our hotel in Mexico. However, instead of the hotel being the coastal property that it is, it is actually located in the mountains. There have been sustained, torrential rains in our area and mudslides everywhere in our region. Rigo, our employee at the hotel, is the only one who has stayed at the hotel to help us with the mudslides and the property, in general. David, my husband, has invited the Indian man to come and speak to us about the weather patterns. He comes and David offers him a seat in a white plastic beach chair near our apartment. David and I are standing and listening to what the Indian man has to say. I notice that the Indian man's trouser leg is hiked up above his knee and that his left left leg is an artificial leg. The man begins to speak in his native language. Dave seems to understand what he's saying. I do not. When the Indian man is finished speaking, he gets up and begins to walk "home." And I suggest to Dave that we drive him. Rigo pulls our truck out of the mud and we begin to drive him up the beach road. It is raining and the road is all but washed out. I remind Dave to give the man some money for his assistance to us. He does.
As we are driving, we notice that there are all these little piles of what looks like straw arranged like a pyramid shape and tied at the top. We also notice that they are following our truck, as if there are little, short people or beings of some kind inside of them. It's unsettling to us that they are following us and hiding whenever we stop the car to observe them. We are not getting a good feeling about this situation at all. They seem like they might want to harm us. I don't know why we think this, but we do.
Now the scene changes again and I am in a car with two other young women. It's a gold colored Jeep Cherokee or something similar. The inside is a gold/tan color. I believe that I am the driver of the car, but I am not sure. We are taking the one girl home. Something happens to the girl we are taking home. She hits her head or is hit in the head with something by someone (not known to me) and all of a sudden she is slumped over on the front seat, not moving. We just don't know what happened and we were standing right there the entire time. It seems like she may be dead. The other girl and I are so fearful that we will be blamed for this accident that we just leave our friend there, slumped over the front seat. We leave her there, in the car. Later on, I couldn't believe that I had just left my friend there, not knowing whether she was alive or not. So, I returned to her house and saw the car where we left it. When I opened the passenger door, I saw that she was gone.
I begin to walk to her house which is located just a few steps from the vehicle, and the dream fades.
After all the speakers are finished speaking, a group of police come up to me. They show me a written statement that I had given them previously about the murders. They are challenging me and what I have written in my statement to them. I realize that they consider me a suspect in the murders. They point to my written statement and ask me about the name that I had written on my statement. The name is in bold, black letters on the paper. WOLENZE. They ask me if I wrote this name. I answered that I had. But, when they asked me about the name, I couldn't remember anything about the name. They asked me other questions and I tried to answer as truthfully as I could. They questioned me further but were finally satisfied that I had nothing to do with the murders.
Then the scene changes and Dave and I are at our hotel in Mexico. However, instead of the hotel being the coastal property that it is, it is actually located in the mountains. There have been sustained, torrential rains in our area and mudslides everywhere in our region. Rigo, our employee at the hotel, is the only one who has stayed at the hotel to help us with the mudslides and the property, in general. David, my husband, has invited the Indian man to come and speak to us about the weather patterns. He comes and David offers him a seat in a white plastic beach chair near our apartment. David and I are standing and listening to what the Indian man has to say. I notice that the Indian man's trouser leg is hiked up above his knee and that his left left leg is an artificial leg. The man begins to speak in his native language. Dave seems to understand what he's saying. I do not. When the Indian man is finished speaking, he gets up and begins to walk "home." And I suggest to Dave that we drive him. Rigo pulls our truck out of the mud and we begin to drive him up the beach road. It is raining and the road is all but washed out. I remind Dave to give the man some money for his assistance to us. He does.
As we are driving, we notice that there are all these little piles of what looks like straw arranged like a pyramid shape and tied at the top. We also notice that they are following our truck, as if there are little, short people or beings of some kind inside of them. It's unsettling to us that they are following us and hiding whenever we stop the car to observe them. We are not getting a good feeling about this situation at all. They seem like they might want to harm us. I don't know why we think this, but we do.
Now the scene changes again and I am in a car with two other young women. It's a gold colored Jeep Cherokee or something similar. The inside is a gold/tan color. I believe that I am the driver of the car, but I am not sure. We are taking the one girl home. Something happens to the girl we are taking home. She hits her head or is hit in the head with something by someone (not known to me) and all of a sudden she is slumped over on the front seat, not moving. We just don't know what happened and we were standing right there the entire time. It seems like she may be dead. The other girl and I are so fearful that we will be blamed for this accident that we just leave our friend there, slumped over the front seat. We leave her there, in the car. Later on, I couldn't believe that I had just left my friend there, not knowing whether she was alive or not. So, I returned to her house and saw the car where we left it. When I opened the passenger door, I saw that she was gone.
I begin to walk to her house which is located just a few steps from the vehicle, and the dream fades.
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