I am what's called a RockBot. I am part of the rock landscape in this underground cavern. There's a river that runs through this underground place. I rise up out of this big rock formation as a little, egg-shaped being. I am made of rock and I have one big eye and I can fly, although I have no wings. I rise up and as I do, I can see that these inscriptions begin to appear on several of the rock formations that come up out of the water below me now. It's as though some unseen hand is actually etching these writings as I observe them. And the etchings are golden in color as they appear and they seem to have a slight glow about them.
I look and watch this taking place before me, and I know that the writings mean something, and mean something to me. Consciously, however, I don't understand them. And I do have consciousness.
I explore my surroundings with my one eye. It's beautiful in its own way. There seems to be an architected tunnel where the river continues. The tunnel has an arched ceiling and the ceiling and the walls of the tunnel look to be made of rock, as well, but the rock is so perfectly stacked and laid, that it doesn't look like a natural phenomenon. It looks like it is built by something or someone. I hover and look how the river flows through this tunnel and I am curious. I want to follow the river.
When I kind of float and hover at the entrance, still looking down this long expanse, I prepare myself to enter through the mouth of the tunnel, and suddenly another RockBot appears before me. The other RockBot looks exactly like I do with one big eye. And we hover there looking at one another. When I move to the right, the other RockBot does the same. When I move to the left, the other RockBot does too. It's as if the other RockBot is blocking me from entering.
There's no communication between us. And I don't feel ill-intent from the other RockBot, but I am sure that the other RockBot is blocking me from going into the tunnel. And I want to enter so badly, but cannot seem to navigate around the other RockBot.
The dream ends here and I have another dream that's similar. In my second dream, I am also flying, but I am me. Although I repeated this dream to my husband, neither one of us can remember the details. All I remember is that I am flying and again, like the RockBot, I am blocked from flying where I want to fly. This is all that I can remember about the second dream.
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Thursday, February 4, 2010
My Name is Barierro!
My husband and I are in a restaurant. We are seated in a booth. Absolutely nothing can be seen inside the restaurant. It is completely black. I mean black. There's no lights, no waiters, no nothing. But, seated directly across the table from us is a man who has died. He was a friend of ours. I don't know why I recognize him because he looks nothing like the person I knew in life. I said, "Bill?" He said, "Yes." And there seemed to be a spotlight on him, a spotlight coming from somewhere we couldn't identify.
In life, Bill was short and heavy set. His personality made him a real cutie pie. He was far from handsome. He was a fine, fine actor and Bill and I had been in many plays together. He was in his late 60's, I would guess when he passed away. The person sitting across the table from us was Bill but looked nothing like Bill. The New Bill is young, probably in his mid to late 30's. He's dressed in a formal black suit but it looks like something someone from Mexican descent would wear. He sat quietly, with his hands folded on top of the table in front of him. He has jet-black hair, a little longish and fashionable. He has a quiet, mysterious countenance. I ask, "How are you?" He replied, "Here, my name is Barierro! He accentuated the double R sound and sounded authentically Mexican. He looked it too.
He said something about the dates from February 3rd to February 16th but I didn't really understand what he was talking about and neither did my husband. And I saw these dates typed out in red letters either in my mind's eye or on a piece of paper. I am not sure.
We spent most of our time with him being silent and not saying much of anything. I remember wondering why all these dead people are paying me visits recently. In real life, I have talked with a couple dead people this week. It was a curious dream, and while not much happened, it was memorable.
In life, Bill was short and heavy set. His personality made him a real cutie pie. He was far from handsome. He was a fine, fine actor and Bill and I had been in many plays together. He was in his late 60's, I would guess when he passed away. The person sitting across the table from us was Bill but looked nothing like Bill. The New Bill is young, probably in his mid to late 30's. He's dressed in a formal black suit but it looks like something someone from Mexican descent would wear. He sat quietly, with his hands folded on top of the table in front of him. He has jet-black hair, a little longish and fashionable. He has a quiet, mysterious countenance. I ask, "How are you?" He replied, "Here, my name is Barierro! He accentuated the double R sound and sounded authentically Mexican. He looked it too.
He said something about the dates from February 3rd to February 16th but I didn't really understand what he was talking about and neither did my husband. And I saw these dates typed out in red letters either in my mind's eye or on a piece of paper. I am not sure.
We spent most of our time with him being silent and not saying much of anything. I remember wondering why all these dead people are paying me visits recently. In real life, I have talked with a couple dead people this week. It was a curious dream, and while not much happened, it was memorable.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Reconfiguring and Reformulating
I did a Matrix session with myself yesterday and I actually asked for something for myself. Typically, when I do a session with myself, I don't state anything specific. I just let go and work with whatever shows up. But yesterday I asked for something specific. After the session with myself, I fell asleep and had one of those deep, deep sleeps, feeling really, really heavy when I woke up. And I was really confused as to where I was and what time of day it was, too. I woke up totally thinking it was the next morning because I heard the generator come on. But, the light in the room seemed different. It took me several minutes to realize what day and time it was. But, I remembered some things from my nap.
I remembered that I wasn't alone. I remembered that I kept seeing these words on either a piece of paper or on a computer screen. I couldn't really tell but I tend to think the words were on a computer screen. These were some sort of formulas or configurations and they had to do with me. And I felt as though "others" were working to reconfigure or reformulate me in accordance to my request.
Then this morning when I woke up, again I felt this heaviness, like I had been somewhere else in the early morning hours. And like there were "others" working with me. It hit me how powerful this is.
Now, it's about Noon and I just feel so raw inside. I am extremely emotional. Even though I sort of feel like I could lash out because I feel so raw, I also recognize that I have felt like this before and this usually occurs when I am in the middle of shifting something, some unseen and unknown part of myself to a better place, a more useful place. Just a few minutes ago, I just grabbed my manager, put my arms around him, and held him close to me. I told him how much I loved him and how much I appreciate him. And I felt like my heart would break, but really, it's just my heart expanding.
Sometimes when my heart expands, I want to lash out because what I am feeling is so intense. But I know that I have this lashing out tendency only because it feels so different and that's just the label I put on it. I just know that God is not orchestrating this shift in me in order for me to lash out. He is orchestrating this shift in me to Love, to Love more, and more deeply, especially to appreciate the love in ME, the love I have for myself. I just have to step back a little and consider that this shift is to my highest good and it's always about Love in one way or another, even though it feels like something else.
And I am reminded of that story I told about this in my Veronica's Whisper series on http://veronicaswhisper.blogspot.com. I remember screaming at God, "Why do I feel so sad all the time. I can't live like this. What's this all about?" And he replied "It's love. It's love. I just make it feel like sadness to get your attention." And that experience gave me the perspective to view these shifts that feel like sadness or rawness or anger in a different way........from Love.
I remembered that I wasn't alone. I remembered that I kept seeing these words on either a piece of paper or on a computer screen. I couldn't really tell but I tend to think the words were on a computer screen. These were some sort of formulas or configurations and they had to do with me. And I felt as though "others" were working to reconfigure or reformulate me in accordance to my request.
Then this morning when I woke up, again I felt this heaviness, like I had been somewhere else in the early morning hours. And like there were "others" working with me. It hit me how powerful this is.
Now, it's about Noon and I just feel so raw inside. I am extremely emotional. Even though I sort of feel like I could lash out because I feel so raw, I also recognize that I have felt like this before and this usually occurs when I am in the middle of shifting something, some unseen and unknown part of myself to a better place, a more useful place. Just a few minutes ago, I just grabbed my manager, put my arms around him, and held him close to me. I told him how much I loved him and how much I appreciate him. And I felt like my heart would break, but really, it's just my heart expanding.
Sometimes when my heart expands, I want to lash out because what I am feeling is so intense. But I know that I have this lashing out tendency only because it feels so different and that's just the label I put on it. I just know that God is not orchestrating this shift in me in order for me to lash out. He is orchestrating this shift in me to Love, to Love more, and more deeply, especially to appreciate the love in ME, the love I have for myself. I just have to step back a little and consider that this shift is to my highest good and it's always about Love in one way or another, even though it feels like something else.
And I am reminded of that story I told about this in my Veronica's Whisper series on http://veronicaswhisper.blogspot.com. I remember screaming at God, "Why do I feel so sad all the time. I can't live like this. What's this all about?" And he replied "It's love. It's love. I just make it feel like sadness to get your attention." And that experience gave me the perspective to view these shifts that feel like sadness or rawness or anger in a different way........from Love.
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